The Kohl's Chronicles pt. 2

The associates (read: bitchworkers) had to stay an hour and fifteen minutes after the store closed today. I do so much folding at work that when I get home and have to do my own laundry, I think I should be exempt from folding. But that is sadly not the case.

A peculiar thing happened today. A boy who was about 12 years old came up to me and asked if we sold necklaces for boys. This kid didn't even look gay (Yes, I know I'm a terrible person). After one failed search on Google, I discovered that there is a decently sized market for jewelry for males. Interestingly enough, the pendants are of skulls, dragons, axes, bald eagles, and, y'know, griffins. I guess the only way a man can get a way with wearing jewelry is if it's hyper-masculine. Overcompensation, anyone?

Another interesting thing I learned at work is that you can eat Crocs. One of my fellow employees was wearing them (which is actually completely against the company dress code, but who gives a fuck) and she said that she saw on TV that they are actually edible. That's good to know if I ever get stranded on a remote island with Crocs in tow. (Ironically, a deserted locale is the only place I would wear ever wear those shoes. Screw comfort, those shoes are fug!). A quick search brought some clarity to the situation. P S over at Yahoo Answers states, "Yes, you can eat them, but you will also crap them out undigested!". His source(s): "My dog ate one". Debunked! Crocs would've maybe earned some respect if it had turned out they could potentially save someone's life in a dire situation. They're just plain tragic and have nothing to contribute to society. Essentially, they're the Phoebe Price of footwear.

The Summer of Kohl's (AKA The Kohl's Chronicles)

Workin' two jobs is never good, but it's even worse when one of those jobs is at Kohl's. I got hired there three weeks ago and it has been a goddamn nightmare ever since. That red brick building houses mountains of yawn inspiring, crappy clothing which manage to accrue in the fitting rooms on purposeful piles on the floor.

My only job is to pick up clothes and put them back from whence they came.

The juniors department is terrible to work in, primarily because I have no choice but to overhear the conversations of 16 year olds who have just acquired their drivers license and decide to drive to Kohl's and try on 39 items just for the fuck of it. I wouldn't mind it terribly if they actually hung the damn clothes up when they're done. But that will clearly never happen.

On my very first day of work at 9:30 pm(the store closes at 10), four girls wearing graphic tees with the likes of Elmo and Alice in Wonderland on them, came into the Juniors department and viciously attacked the clearance rack and the disastrously tacky Candies clothes. As they were trying things on they were making very loud conversation about how they wanted to see each other nakedLOLOMGZ. I must say, I did honestly LOL when the shorter, stout girl sought approval from her friends. "You guys, I can't believe I need to wear a large now. It's just because my boobs are so big, you know. You guys know I'm really a medium, right?!" I guess she's not fat, she's big boobed. When she exited the fitting room leaving all the clothes in a pile on the floor, it took all my willpower to keep from walking up to her, putting my hand on her shoulder and saying, "Honey...you're a large".